What Drives Our Perception?

One of my favorite scenes from the movie Cast Away is when the main character, played by the fabulous Tom Hanks, keeps breaking the tidal wave barrier.

He did it again and again, understanding this was the only way out from the island, which saved him yet became his prison.

Elizabeth R. Koch calls this prison a Perception Box. As explained on the website, the Perception Box is a powerful metaphor.

Perception Box describes how a person’s perception is skewed by various factors such as beliefs, biases, and narratives. It relates to the architecture of the mind that all humans, young and old, and indeed, all conscious creatures, are constrained by. We each live in our own Perception Box, a box whose walls are invisible and unbreakable, as we can only experience what our neural circuitry permits our mind to experience. These walls, or constraints, become the filter through which we interpret everyone and everything.

The world is individually perceived: some find it fantastic, yet some can barely cope. What drives our perception?

The answer is of the utmost importance because if we knew, we could change it and live in a fantastic place. 

How you perceive it is a unique reflection of your individuality. If you find it harsh, the chances you could experience stress, depression, loneliness, disintegration, and the polarization of the current social world are pretty high.

Our perception is highly selective and individual, and we are attuned to particular things. What we pay attention to becomes augmented for us, and we start to see it increasingly as if it resonates at the same frequency. Therefore, it is better to notice where we put our attention.

To manage attention, many choose ongoing self-control of their state and thoughts via mindfulness techniques. Yet, self-control is a finite, depleting resource that requires ongoing energy consumption. Once depleted, we enter a state that hinders our flourishing.

Many types of interventions could change our perception, be it multisensory AI virtual reality, near-death experiences, plant medicine travels, or the experience of surviving a severe physical illness. People have reported that after these events, a change in their perception transformed their life thereafter to such an extent that they felt as though they were privy to a miracle of love, starting a life of service, and enjoying the reality of every day.

It is not the experience itself that changes our perception.

A switch of emotional engagement during such an experience has changed the lives of many.

The side question is, if our imagination is akin to a virtual reality that we can access to change our emotional states and perceptions, do we need any stressful events or technology to enhance our lives? And what should happen in our imaginative world to liberate us?

Neuroscience shows that attention is short-term, while emotional engagement, a powerful force connecting us to what matters, is a long-lasting force within us. Short-term attention can be captured and manipulated externally, but emotional engagement has deep internal roots. 

In other words, we are always connected with things that are emotionally important to us.

We must also know that importance doesn’t mean we want to linger on certain things, situations, or episodes for a long time. I was trained in prolonged exposure therapy, a challenging tool used for severe PTSD cases, such as war veterans or victims of severe violence. Their emotions keep them attached to the episodes they experience, and these moments are significant to them. Yet, life moves on, so the task is to heal in order to disconnect and eliminate the attachment to get freedom.

Think about when you have an inner rainy day, and everything seems to fall out of your control. We may feel lost, misunderstood, disconnected, or useless these days.

Change your mood, and it will change your life: in a good mood, everything is slightly brighter, and hope is in the air.

We must understand that emotions polarize our thoughts, making them good, bad, or neutral.

So, why should you control thoughts instead of releasing emotions? 

Processing emotional states helps us to heal vulnerability, get clarity, and tap into the gift of sensitivity by nourishing our innate faculties for healthy emotional engagement. Emotional processing aims to transform emotional attachments. To understand it better, consider any dependencies as emotional attachments. A healthy alternative is emotional engagement.

Instead of disconnections that became a norm in our work, business, and executive experiences, we need to connect with emotions more profoundly. Instead of separating from and working against our human nature, we must embrace it with blind faith that it must have a reason and dive into the unknown emotional subconscious. 

Taking a step away from attention management and focusing on emotional engagement allows us to get the superpower driving attention and perception. 

Disattachments happen at the emotional level. Mind techniques, therefore, must be combined with heart faculties, where acceptance of emotions is necessary but only the initial step.

Dear reader, your emotions are your treasure, an innate gift that leads to emotional engagements and lets you flourish with even more sensitivity without a glimpse of vulnerability. Being sensitive allows you to feel others, nature, and yourself with all subtle, tiny nuances. The same ability to share those feelings or empathy connects you with creativity, intuition, and higher blissful states, requiring emotional non-attachment or liberation, which will become a new norm soon.

We are all born sensitive.

I have never met a human without the ability to feel. However, most of us are frozen or disconnected, emotionally stultified.

Others are vulnerable and wounded and prefer not to touch the emotional zone, which is often a source of pain. Therefore, many of us prefer a life of self-control instead of a life of freedom.

Our layered emotions form a foundation for our reactions, safeguarding us once yet becoming our limitations in new situations, just as protective waves from Cast Away. However, tidal waves of past emotional baggage can be processed, allowing you to enter the fresh waters of emotional health. Emotional processing is not as dramatic as the scene from the film, and we can master it to break through the same way the film’s hero did.

Once we work out the collected layers, we disconnect from emotional attachments and become less polarised. Once so, we are ready to accept different viewpoints and become more inclusive, ready to listen and connect because we switch to a curiosity and exploration mindset. This shift fosters individual psychological safety, making our inner emotional state vibrant, bright, and open to new perceptions.

Freeing our emotional states is a true power that opens up exciting opportunities that sages and seekers worldwide have searched for ages.

If we are attached, our world is limited to a known powered by protective behavior. If not, we are open to the unknown, which indicates we are in an explorative state. Prolonged exposure therapy clearly proves that once we work out our emotional attachments, they can not come back to previous (emotional) states.

Try to change your emotional state and see what happens with your present perception, starting with small things. Science states that the conscious mind doesn’t manage our lives, so why change our nature, trying to control it more and more instead of returning to our dormant emotional power and relaxing?

For example, do your favorite thing, which usually brings you to inner sparks, and go out for a drink at a known coffee shop. Notice if there are more smiling people around today? Are people more attentive, caring, and open to you? Even if you notice a strong face, don’t you feel this person is just under some harsh period in their life and deserves extra kindness?

Congratulations if you start to feel others differently – you experience a mirror neuron’s power when the world mirrors your state. Do you notice what happens with your perception in the same situation, place, or with the same people? If you get it, pass the miracle and boost someone around you with a sudden smile, uplifting comment, or meaningful support.

That’s all for today, and this is enough to start a new life, dear.

We’ll talk again in two weeks.


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