“They conditioned us to live this way since school!”

“No, it’s our fault; humanity is so weak.”

---

Do you want to live fully or merely survive?

We must make a choice now: to stop ignoring what is happening around us. It’s time to recognize that everything occurs for a reason, and we need to invest in change. Without social support, change won’t happen, but blaming others or ourselves only leads to paralysis.

Dear reader, the goal of my newsletter is to uphold your right to be informed and to promote science. My perspective is neither pessimistic nor optimistic; I believe we can navigate any crisis together. Panic and rash actions are not effective in the long term; we need more. Developing a new resource -emotional capital- that fosters critical thinking and enables social change is a promising idea, which we explore here, and you are warmly invited.

Things don’t happen to us; they happen for us.

If the entire world collaborates for our benefit, how long can we continue to blame others or ourselves?

“I need to deal with them, but they are all horrible people.” “I hate these food products, but they sell them to me.” “I need to support this job, but I destroy myself.” “I want to do good for the planet, but my impact means nothing- it’s all about big oil companies and techbros.”

What has happened to us?

We surrender our power to others, thinking, “I can’t do anything, I am not the one.” We exhausted ourselves in battles like climate activism, spending our precious time, health, and energy knocking on closed doors instead of stepping into open ones.

What and for whom do we want to prove something?

Blame does not heal us. It infects and destroys us. We should stop fixating on others’ or our own mistakes and focus on gaining inner strength.

Let me show you something. It happens with me, too.

I love sailing. One day, we failed to escape a sudden weather change and entered a zone of big waves, which was quite challenging for me.

I love nature and outdoor activities, but my insecurities were at their height. In contrast with me, my buddy was inspired and set sail to catch the wind for a “real rally”.

Momentarily, the boat tilted so much that water poured onto the deck.

The last thing I remember was the distinct sound of metal knives and spoons falling out of closed drawers.

I had a panic attack.

I couldn’t help but cover my ears to block out the sounds that connected me with a tragic episode from my childhood. Hugged my knees and curled up the rest of me, I was trying to hide away from reality.

We made it through, and nothing extraordinary happened. Later, I was checked on and given hot tea.

This episode was recalled a few months later while sitting at a birthday celebration in a cozy city center restaurant with friends and family.

My sailing partner was in high spirits, grabbing attention and sharing stories from the sea.

He recounted this incident in detail, concluding that my behavior was childish and suggesting I should never venture to breathe the salty air outside.

“Whoa, Elena, I would never go out with you. We guys want a real challenge, and girls should not be with us at all,” his friend exclaimed loudly after another sip of red wine.

You ruined the whole adventure for our friend!

“Never, never ask me to take you with us anymore. It’s such a shame to be a girl among real men. You had better stay home, cook, and take care of the kids.”

“Well,” I said calmly, “it is not a shame.

It is okay to feel stressed, and it is okay to be caught by your past traumas at the most inappropriate moment. I mean, it could happen.

What is not okay is when your buddy witnesses such a moment of trauma and does not say, “Hey, I am here to protect you, it is okay. It is all in your head only, all good. I have got your back, that is why I am with you today.'”

The table became frozen.

It was so quiet that you could hear the buzzing of a fly that just could not decide between a piece of cake and mushroom sauce.

My words were slow and minimal. It was hard for me to keep explaining.

It was hard for me even to breathe, and hot blood was burning somewhere between my heart and throat. But words somehow were able to break the air into pieces that were impossible to ignore.

“It is never cool to take advantage of a friend’s weaknesses just to make yourself look better. Building yourself up by putting someone else down? That’s just not it.

When things get tense, it is way better to step up with care, support, and maturity. Acting like a bully to boost your image doesn’t make you look good -it does the opposite.

Honestly, this is me who would not want to be part of a group that’s all about power games instead of teamwork, which is much needed in the wild nature.”

Nature requires teamwork – nothing to argue. The right words were used to express apologies. The conflict ended.

I could say “they did it to me…”

Or I could decide “no, it’s my fault, I was so bad…”

Do we really mean to do that? Don’t we want to step into our power and keep going? The fact is, we cannot change the world, but we can change ourselves.

We can no longer blame others: “My misfortune is your fault,” or ourselves: “I am so weak I let this happen.” We don’t control what happens, but we do control what we do afterward.

Stop blaming, as it only highlights our powerlessness.

When we blame others, we often end up feeling superior: “They are wrong, I am right.” This is a slippery slope. We blame because we don’t understand how reality works; we do so to avoid changing ourselves, to resist transformation, and to remain inflexible.

That’s how deep our self-hatred is. That’s how weak we are.

Do we wish to adopt the role of a slave, dreaming of becoming a tyrant, ready for revenge?

Does revenge truly serve as the purpose of our lives?

Blaming others gives them control over the situation, while strong individuals take action instead of wasting time pursuing those they think are wrong.

Bless those who reveal our weaknesses.

This pressure is intended to connect us with our true selves. We don’t need to change anyone but ourselves. We hold the power; we are the people who decide how things will be on Earth.

If we dislike certain jobs, let’s leave them. If we don’t want to associate with certain people, let’s avoid them. If we disapprove of certain companies, let’s refrain from buying from them and instead support those that align with our values.

Instead of pleading with the 2% to change their behavior, let’s focus on changing ourselves.

We must reclaim our strength.

Shift away from the role of victims.

Discover our inner power in any situation.

Let’s start by asking:

• What can I do right now to support the values I believe in?
• How can I improve my self-esteem to prevent others from mistreating me?
• Where do I exhibit disliked behavior towards others or myself?
• What is the gift we need to embrace right now?

I’m confident these unique questions will unlock a whole new, regenerative reality: together, we can achieve whatever we desire. Enjoy!

That’s all for today.

We’ll talk again in two weeks.

If these words were useful to you, please share your thoughts with Your Emotional Capital Newsletter readers: we are happy to hear from you!

---

Find me on LinkedIn or website. Send me professional inquiries at Kirkus ProConnect. Whenever you’re ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:

The Gift of Sensitivity Book saves your precious time summarising 8 years of research & personal journey. Take a copy to discover your own sensitivity, transforming it into a superpower for a future with extraordinary faculties such as creativity, originality, innovation, intuition, flexibility, and inclusiveness in times of technological acceleration.

Your Emotional Capital Newsletter informs you with a mosaic of perspectives and insights on how emotional depth can fuel transformation, expedite learning, and activate greater cognitive capacities. Here, vulnerability meets strength, and sensitivity is recast not as a liability but as a potent asset.

Emotional Capital for the Triple Win: 50 Innovative Ways to Lead the Consumption Revolution reveals 50 innovative strategies to transform consumer behavior for a triple win: benefitting people, the planet, and universal prosperity. It is a groundbreaking guide for the next generation of business leaders, founders, and innovators. Available 24th June 2025.